Well, the year is half over already! It has been quite a year of change for me, at times exciting and at times challenging! I am doing some work in Melbourne for a while, and am based here the majority of the time. The work is going well, and it is wonderful to be living closer to my son for a while. We can actually catch up in person for a coffee and a chat periodically!
I head back regularly to see some of my past clients at Goolwa and in Adelaide, but I have had to limit my Adelaide practice for a while. I continue to teach when I can, and enjoyed giving a talk to GP’s in Sydney in June, inspired by a quote by Einstein; “Learn from yesterday, live for today, and hope for tomorrow”.
In the talk I spoke about the past, and how our mind often focusses on negative experiences. This is part of our nature to aid survival, and our mind also works by creating meaning through stories. We create stories to make sense of our lives; they create the lens through which we view our lives and ourselves. And some of the stories are more dominant and problem-saturated than others.
To deal with the emotional pain from yesterday, we need to:
- Explore the concept of acceptance
- Tap into our strengths and resilience
- Work through loss, grief and trauma
- Be aware of our negative stories (perhaps find some alternative stories!)
When reflecting on living for today, it is important to:
- Meet the basic needs for safety, satisfaction, connection …
- Focus on what is important to you at this time e.g. family, work, relaxing …
- Practice mindfulness – this moment is it!
- Communicate well – listen, ask questions, be assertive if needed …
- Be kind to others and yourself
- Foster relationships and connection
- Respond vs react to issues
- Practice optimistic thinking
- Tap into your strengths, work on the rest!
- Foster helpful habits, work on the others!
- Manage time & be organised / delegate
- Use your motivation to achieve your goals
- Find meaning & purpose – they energise us!
- Be open to change / keep your options open
- Practice gratitude
- Foster emotional intelligence
- Increase self-awareness and self-soothing / coping mechanisms
- Recognise emotions in others
- Build resilience (more than bouncing back, about persevering …), and be resourceful
- Focus on wellbeing, including self-care – know your refuges
- Grow your self-belief / recognize success and reduce the ‘inner critic’
- Prime yourself with positive thoughts to activate motivation, or link the task to the reward (e.g. satisfaction)
- Trust your intuition!
In relation to tomorrow, I spoke about the role of HOPE or the sense that things will turn out okay, which is paramount to our general health. It is NOT intangible wishful thinking, but more about focussing on optimistic thinking, identifying our goals, and actively putting strategies in place to sustain the motivation to reach them. It is a state of mind, and a learned behaviour!
The talk finished with – KNOW WHAT YOU WANT & OVERCOME YOUR INNER BARRIERS:
- Work towards your goals (personal/business) … STEP BY STEP
- Persist, endure, be creative, adapt ….
- Be inspired and enjoy the process!
- By having a strong sense of hope, we become more resilient, and be better able to adapt to change.
It has been useful summarising the talk, as many of the points have been relevant to me in relation to my life changes this year. I hope that they might be helpful for you too!